Excavating our Compassionate Heart

July 15, 2022

Last Sunday, we explored the concept of true belonging- which stems from a deepened connection with our true, authentic self, despite the constrictions of our conditioning. That conditioned sense of belonging minimizes our authentic self, in favor of conformity. At some point along the way we all learn to contain ourselves in in order to fit in, which we mistake for true belonging.

In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown defined belonging as:

“The innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

The irony is that our self-acceptance has been hinged, at least in part, on fitting in and seeking approval outside of ourselves. All at the expense of a true sense of belonging which ultimately begins with belonging to ourselves.

Brené goes on to say that, “it takes special courage to experience true belonging. It’s about breaking down the walls, abandoning our ideological bunkers and living from our wild heart rather than our weary hurt.”

We begin within, by considering how our own "ideological bunkers" have limited us internally, as well as how it has cut us off from experiencing connection with those we perceive to be outside of those bunkers.

As we connect with the fullness of Divine Love and claim it as our true nature, we have to choose if we will open up to it so fully that it will break through the walls surrounding our own hearts in order to connect more fully with the heart of others. We cannot truly offer anyone anything that we don’t first offer to ourselves. We begin by pouring that limitless love right into our own weary hearts and holding what we find there with great compassion and kindness.

Brené reminds us that,

“True belonging is not passive. It’s not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It’s not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it’s safer. It’s a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable and learn how to be present with people — without sacrificing who we are. We want true belonging, but it takes tremendous courage…

We’re going to need to intentionally be with people who are different from us. We’re going to have to sign up, join and take a seat at the table. We’re going to have to learn how to listen, have hard conversations, look for joy, share pain and be more curious than defensive, all while seeking moments of togetherness.”

My hope is that our moments of togetherness at USCD can provide a safe space to do this kind of learning and healing together. To be clear, I am not skilled in the therapeutic techniques often required to delve into the deep pain and trauma held by so many of us.I absolutely support everyone in seeking that level of individual support as needed a long way.

What I do know is that within each and every person lies a courageous heart that yearns to connect with the fullness of itself and that fullness in others. We all experience suffering when this connection is blocked. Love and compassion are key elements in restoring that connection. They are also the foundation of our spiritual teachings.

I am currently building my skillset around the components of Creating the Beloved Community, based on the work of Jim Lockard.

Here is a glimpse of what I am learning:

"The beloved Community is a collection of individuals who are learning how to love themselves, one another and the Universe. The beloved community consists of people on a spiritual path who seek a closer relationship with God, and who want to take their growing awareness out into the world to be examples of love and compassion. It also consists of a people who are gathered around the teachings of a certain denomination and have a general desire to become better versions of themselves.

Living up to spiritual principles is always a challenge, calling forth qualities in people that may not be lived in any other way. Finding and nurturing the compassionate heart and living from that loving center is the ultimate goal of spiritual community. Compassion is, at least in part, the transcendence of fear through the acceptance of the Divine and Divine Love.

To be capable of true compassion- seeing the other as one with yourself- requires a degree of emotional and spiritual maturity. We must grow beyond our inherent fears and the conditioning that limits our ability to accept the wonders of Divine Love. A function of the beloved community is to foster the development of a mature emotional and spiritual self- to put away childish things and to become a true adult to transcend the limitations of fear and any sense of inadequacy. "

Consider for yourself:

What ‘inherent fears and conditioning have you been called to outgrow?
Are you willing to transcend the limitations of that fear and move beyond the nagging sense of inadequacy?
Can you begin by connecting with those places of fear and perceived inadequacy with compassion and love?

Join us at 10am on Sunday as we explore the expression of

Divine Love through compassion.